


home at last, but you're fading fast

by starstrung



Category: Tanis (Podcast)
Genre: Aftercare, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:07:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstrung/pseuds/starstrung
Summary: Geoff is the one Nic calls when he wants to feel like himself again after a hypnosis session.





	home at last, but you're fading fast

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Rowan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/endquestionmark) and [Hyemi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/vrooom) for letting me yell at them about this. Deals were struck. Twitter character limits were put to the test. Here's the finished product.

After several weeks without a hypnosis session, Nic has forgotten the sensation of going under, of listening to Dr. Burnier’s voice become more and more distant, like he’s retreating from her into a long and endless tunnel, the walls of it covered in old growth, the ceiling threatening to cave in behind him at any time, leaving him there.

Today’s session seems to last longer than usual, his trance deeper and more immersive. As he sinks, one of Nic’s last conscious thoughts is to wonder idly if he could ever go under so completely that he’d just get lost in whatever labyrinths of his own memories that he gets sent to when he’s under hypnosis.

Time passes without his knowledge.

Coming out of it feels less like waking up and more like slowly making sense of his surroundings one detail at a time. The ticking sound of the clock hanging on the wall behind him, the faint pattering of rain, the glass of water catching light on the low table in front of him. He looks up to his left and sees Dr. Burnier watching him in her usual inscrutable but benevolent way.

“Hey. You’re back,” she says softly. “How do you feel?”

Nic straightens in his chair a bit from his slouch. He finds his throat dry and scratchy, like he’s been talking for a long time without rest, and takes a few sips of his water before answering. “Yeah, I’m fine. Good, even.” 

And it feels like the truth, even if Nic isn’t quite so sure. It’s a familiar sensation — not exhaustion, or numbness. Just a vague sense of unmooring, like he has to remember what being Nic Silver is like again.

Dr. Burnier nods, and he can see her making a mental note about how sincere — or not — he sounds. “Take all the time you need,” she tells him. “You don’t have to leave until you’re ready.”

“Actually,” Nic looks at his watch, finding it much later than he thought it was, “I should get going.” He reaches over the table and switches off his voice recorder, putting it back into his pocket, trying not to make his movements too hasty or rushed. 

“Okay.” Dr. Burnier smiles, standing up with him. “We can pick up where we left off next week. I think we made really good progress today, Nic.”

“Yeah,” Nic nods. “See you next week.” 

He usually waits until he’s back home to listen to the recordings of his sessions. They take him hours to get through sometimes, since he prefers attacking them in short bursts and taking notes on anything he finds worth discussing further. But this time, he has his earphones in and is hitting play even as he walks to his bus stop.

It’s unsettling, like always, to hear his voice go like that — small and passive, like someone who just sounds a lot like him is narrating the inside of his head. The session begins like it normally does, Nic talking about the cabin, about exploring its rooms and hallways, about the others that he finds there. Dr. Burnier occasionally steps in to prompt him on, or ask for clarification, but otherwise she lets him speak. No wonder his throat had been sore afterwards. He must have been talking for almost the entire time.

It takes a turn, though, when Nic pauses in describing the layout of one of the rooms. He is silent for so long that Dr. Burnier has to ask him what he’s seeing.

“There’s been something following me,” Nic hears himself say.

The voice on the recording is so unlike his own, so devoid of inflection, that Nic switches off the recording and tears off his earphones, his breathing sounding loud in his own ears. Nic looks around him on the bus, as if whatever had been following him in the trance could have followed him here. But there are only a few other people on the bus, and none of them are paying any attention to him. He makes himself relax.

Nic can’t help but think of the person on the recording as — not him. Someone else. Someone with his voice, who answers to his name, perhaps. But those memories, whatever he’s describing, it’s as if it’s a different Nic Silver, living a different life. A part of Tanis.

Goosebumps rising now on his skin, Nic realizes he doesn’t want to go home after all, doesn’t want to be alone. He needs someone to talk to who will know for sure whether he’s the real Nic Silver or not.

Geoff picks up on the second ring. “Hey buddy, what’s up?” he asks.

“Hey, Geoff,” Nic says, grateful that his voice doesn’t sound shaky. He wraps his earphones around his voice recorder and shoves it to the bottom of his bag. “You free to grab some drinks? Usual place? It’s been a while.” 

“Of course!” Geoff says, and even over the phone, Nic can hear him smiling. It settles something in him. “You know I always have time to let you buy me a beer.”

Nic can’t help but laugh. “Why is it always me buying you drinks?”

“Because in return, you get the pleasure of my company, duh,” Geoff says without missing a beat.

“Fair enough,” Nic says, laughing again. He quickly checks what street his bus is on. “I should be there in about fifteen minutes.”

“Nice, give me twenty minutes. Save me a seat?”

“Okay.” Before Geoff hangs up, Nic says quickly, “Hey could you stay on the line for a bit?”

He feels like his voice pitched higher than usual, and is worried that Geoff catches it, because he pauses slightly before answering. “Sure man, everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, it’s just,” Nic takes a deep breath and rests the side of his head against the chilled bus window, “I think you were right, before. About hypnosis.”

“Did you just have a session?” Geoff asks, all lightness gone from his voice.

“Yeah,” Nic says. “It wasn’t — _bad_ , or anything. I can’t really remember any of it, but that’s pretty normal. It just, I don’t know.” He decides not to tell Geoff about the thing that was hunting him in the trance. He feels paranoid enough just keeping an eye on the other passengers in the bus, making sure they haven’t been watching him.

“Feels like you just let someone rearrange the furniture up there?” Geoff says, voice low. “I remember the feeling.”

“Right,” Nic says, immensely relieved that Geoff knows what he’s talking about. “I’m just not sure if the person I hear on the tape is me? Or if it’s just, I don’t know, subconscious coleslaw.”

Geoff snorts a laugh. “Coleslaw? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

Nic hides a stupid grin. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Geoff says. “And I don’t know, man. That’s something I kept asking myself too.”

“Did you ever come up with an answer?” Nic asks him.

“Not really,” Geoff says bluntly, and Nic’s heart sinks a little. “Look, brains are pretty mysterious, you know? I can tell you one thing though.”

“What?” Nic says.

“This guy? Talking to me on the phone right now? That’s definitely Nicodemus fuckin’ Silver,” Geoff says. “Maybe a little weirder than before, but, eh—” Nic imagines him shrugging, “—it’s not like you didn’t know that already.”

“Geoff, I— thanks,” Nic says. “I think I needed to hear that.”

“Dude, any time,” Geoff tells him. “Hey, you’re hungry, right? You want to skip the bar and just eat take-out at your place? I can pick something up.”

“Sounds good,” Nic says. He watches the rain-smeared lights pass outside the bus window and takes tentative stock of the lightness in his chest. “How did you know I was hungry?”

“You just called your subconscious coleslaw. I put two and two together.”

“Look at you. Those were some pretty decent investigative skills,” Nic teases, grateful to steer their conversation to easier waters. “Looks like there’s more to you than just your good looks.”

There’s a pause, but when Geoff replies his voice is soft. “Yeah, well. Someone’s got to look after you.”

The lightness in his chest turns to warmth so quickly that Nic is grateful for the coolness of the window to press his face against. “Hey, Geoff?”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t know the Geoff Van Sant from before the hypnosis, but whatever version, clone, alternate reality copy is the one talking to me now? I’m glad he’s here,” Nic says, his breath clouding on the window.

This time, Geoff is silent for long enough that Nic checks to make sure his call hasn’t been disconnected. Then, “Anyone ever tell you you’re weird as fuck, Nic?” he says, fond.

Nic breathes out a laugh. “Yeah, I think I might have heard that one a couple of times.” 

-

Geoff makes good on his promise to bring take-out, and they sit on Nic’s couch picking their way through pad thai, beer and the worst selection of low budget sci-fi that Nic’s DVD collection has to offer.

Chelsea wants to come up on the couch with them, and Geoff lets her, even though Nic tries to tell him he’s spoiling her.

“Come on, how can you say no to this face?” Geoff says, scratching Chelsea behind the ear. Nic sighs as if put-upon, but it’s only halfhearted. 

They rearrange themselves so that Chelsea rests her head on Geoff’s knee on one side and Nic sits on Geoff’s other side. Geoff has his arm draped over the back of the couch, and Nic can feel the warmth of it against the back of his neck. Geoff doesn’t move his arm, busy making fun of the movie’s terrible special effects, and, figuring it’s okay, Nic lets himself relax, lean back into it.

Halfway through the movie, Geoff’s arm finds its way off the back of the couch, his thumb rubbing circles into Nic’s shoulder, sending heat traveling up Nic’s neck. Nic has long lost track of the movie they’re watching, his attention divided between the TV screen and Geoff’s solid weight around him, but now, with Geoff touching him like that, Nic’s thoughts drift even further. 

For the first time today, he feels _safe_.

The ever-constant nervous buzzing under his skin quiets down, to be replaced with heaviness, and Nic doesn’t realize that he’s leaning into Geoff’s shoulder until Geoff laughs at something in the movie, and Nic  _ feels  _ him shaking with it.

“Hey, you’re pretty out of it, huh?” Geoff says, pausing the movie and looking down at him. The thumb moving across his shoulder slows. “Want to call it a night?”

“Sure. I guess I was more tired than I thought,” Nic says, the words coming out slurred with exhaustion. 

“Well, compared to when I first saw you, you do look less like you’re about to go for the kitchen knife,” Geoff says, amused. “You should get to bed before you drop off completely. I’ve seen you slumped over your computer when you’re working. Falling asleep on this couch isn’t going to do your back any favors.”

“I don’t feel like moving,” Nic murmurs. It feels like his limbs are trapped with warmth.

“Let’s go, come on.” With a small grunt, Geoff heaves Nic to his feet. Nic lets himself be herded to his bedroom, where he flops onto his back on the bed.

“I made it,” he says, weakly. 

“Good for you,” Geoff says, unperturbed. 

He feels lightheaded with exhaustion, maybe even drunk. He had too many beers or something. Or the last couple weeks of sleeping four hours or less every night are catching up with him.

There is a tugging at his feet, and Nic lifts his head enough to see Geoff carefully untying his shoes, setting them aside. “You don’t have to do that,” Nic tells him. God, he’s not even wearing matching socks today.

“Already done,” Geoff says smugly, showing him his other shoe before setting it with the other one. “Get some rest, alright?”

The lights in his room aren’t on, and by the dim light escaping from the hallway, Nic can only see half of Geoff’s face. 

It’s still enough for Nic to wish he was more awake, to wish that he wasn’t just on the cusp of falling asleep. He wants to make sure he’ll remember the tenderness in Geoff’s eyes. It’s important he remembers it, even if he’s not exactly sure why.

Geoff leans over Nic to throw a blanket across him, and before he can stop himself, Nic reaches for him. He catches Geoff by the front of his shirt, and pulls him down.

“Oh,” Geoff says, and bends down to kiss him. 

For a while, Nic just gasps into it, pulling him closer until Geoff props an arm on the mattress beside him, that solid weight surrounding Nic once again. Only this time, Geoff has a hand on the side of his neck, is licking into his mouth, is making a low noise in the back of his throat that has Nic opening his knees and letting Geoff settle over him completely.

Nic’s thoughts have gone thoroughly, viciously blank. He wants to kick off the blankets separating them, but Geoff’s weight is pinning him down, and suddenly, Nic is sinking. The soft, breathless noises he hears himself making could be coming from someone else, someone with his voice.

The tunnel is there at his back, threatening to bury him in that dark place.

“Shit, shit, sorry,” Geoff says, rolling off of him, and Nic becomes aware that he’s shaking with panic. He covers his mouth over his gasping breaths and, more than anything, is surprised by the intensity of them.

“Hey, too soon, right? Not right now. I get it,” Geoff says quickly, rubbing soothing circles into his shoulder. It helps, just like it had before on the couch. After a while, Nic comes back to himself, feeling less like he’s about to fade away.

“Nic?” Geoff asks, voice soft with concern.

Nic scrubs at his eyes before answering. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just—” He takes a deep, steadying breath, and is unable to come up with anything to say that isn’t about tunnels caving in over his head, things waiting for him in the dark. “Sorry,” he says, quietly.

“Don’t be sorry, you just came back from getting fucking hypnotized, and I shouldn’t have—” Geoff sighs. “We can do this whenever you want. I can wait.”

“Could you — stay?” Nic asks, his voice sounding desperate in the dark.

“Yeah, ‘course I can. Of course,” Geoff says, sounding relieved, like he’d been worried that Nic would want to be alone. There is a rustle of sound — Geoff taking out his phone and setting an alarm, putting it on the table by Nic’s bed, Geoff adjusting the pillows so that he and Nic can lie on their sides facing each other.

“Are you going to keep seeing Dr. Burnier? For the hypnosis, I mean,” Geoff asks.

Nic shrugs with one shoulder. “I don’t know. Probably. I think I have to.” Exhaustion has him being more honest with himself than he usually is. “It’s like each time I think a part of this mystery makes sense? I just find out I was missing something right in front of me. And I want to make sure I don’t miss anything.”

Geoff is silent for so long that Nic wants to ask him to say something, but by then Nic’s eyes have already slipped shut. There is a hand at the side of Nic’s face, brushing hair out of his face, and then he is asleep.

-

When Nic gets up, it’s still dark. He checks the time, and realizes he’s been asleep for almost five hours. His eyes feel scratchy and abused but, thankfully, his mind is clear.

Beside him on the bed, Geoff is still asleep, curled on his side, and Nic watches him for a moment. Geoff’s jaw is slack with sleep, his shoulders rising and falling with every breath. 

Really, really good shoulders, Nic amends, shamelessly taking the opportunity to appreciate their heft. Even though Geoff isn’t in the military anymore, it’s clear that he still stays in good shape. A part of Nic wants to lay back down, curl up beside him, be there when Geoff wakes up, and then maybe Geoff could pin him down again and they could— 

Nic huffs a helpless laugh, and puts his heated face in his hands. Yeah, that. That’s happening.

Reluctantly, he gets out of bed. He knows he can’t stay still for that long, and he would feel bad about waking Geoff up so early. Instead, he takes a long, hot shower, makes some coffee, feeds Chelsea, and goes to work in the other room. 

There are still a couple more hours before he has to head out to the studio, and he gets a decent amount done before Geoff emerges from the bedroom, looking sleep-dazed and blinking in the early morning light.

Chelsea immediately attacks him, jumping at his legs until Geoff, laughing, bends down to pet her. Nic puts away his laptop and watches with a grin, his heart doing hopeless turns in his chest. When Geoff finally straightens up, face flushed, he goes over to Nic and sits next to him on the couch, studying him.

“What?” Nic says, laughing, when Geoff still hasn’t said anything.

Geoff grins at him. “How do you feel?”

“A lot better,” Nic answers honestly. He feels well-rested, content. It’s a good morning.

“Yeah, you look a lot better.” Geoff reaches over to cup the side of Nic’s face, and Nic finds his breath catching in his throat. “That’s what I like to see,” Geoff says, voice warm.

When Geoff draws him in for a kiss, Nic lets himself be settled in Geoff’s lap, grinning into it. This is gentler than yesterday, like Geoff is being careful. Nic is happy to let Geoff direct them, even though there is heat coiling in his belly and he wants —  _ god _ — he wants Geoff’s hands on him like yesterday, pressing warmth into him until he’s settled in his skin again.

“I have to,” Nic says, breaking away reluctantly, “uh, the studio. I have to be there soon.”

Geoff groans into the side of his neck, and looks up at him with a tragic expression. “Are you sure?”

Nic laughs, reminded of Chelsea when she’s begging for scraps. He runs a hand through Geoff’s hair where it’s still mussed with sleep. “Yeah, I promised Alex I’d be there when she met with Paul,” Nic says. “But, uh, later today I could use your help.”

Geoff brightens. “Oh yeah? What kind of help?”

“Well, MK found out that there’s a lot of TeslaNova activity happening in this one part of the woods, and I thought I’d go check it out.”

“Let me guess,” Geoff says, smirking. “You need me to protect you from any surprise cult threesomes.”

Nic pushes at his shoulder. “You’re never going to let me forget that one, are you.”

“Hey man, you’re the one who almost got into a threesome with some cultists,” Geoff tells him.

Nic rolls his eyes. “Well, I doubt there are any cult threesomes waiting for me in the woods, but I could still use some backup.” 

“Is that what I am now? Backup?” Geoff says, faking indignation.

“Yep,” Nic says, unrepentant. He stands up. “And backup better get going soon if backup wants Jack in the Box for breakfast.”

Geoff gets up eagerly, already making his way to the door. “Well, when you put it like that.”

-

The path they’re on is barely anything more than a meandering clearing of debris and the occasional stack of flat rocks as a trail marker. Nic is grateful for Geoff, who has a much keener sense of direction than he does, and is less liable to get distracted by interesting worms and then wander lost for three hours before finding the trailhead again.

“So what exactly are we looking for here?” Geoff asks, as they walk through the woods. 

“Well, MK was able to pull some GPS tracking data from some of the vehicles registered under TeslaNova,” Nic explains. “She says that about a month ago, a lot of them were coming back and forth from around this spot in the woods.”

“So, no idea what they were looking at out here?” Geoff asks.

“Nope!” Nic says, thrilled. 

“But it’s probably Tanis related, right?”

Nic shrugs. “That’s the hope.”

“Cool,” Geoff says. “I’ll let you know if I see any weird mysterious shit.” His hand knocks against Nic’s as they walk and, to his chagrin, Nic blushes, suddenly reminded of this morning.

“Was worried you’d forgotten about that,” Geoff says, looking pleased with himself. This time, when Geoff’s shoulder brushes against his, Nic is pretty sure it’s on purpose. “Guess not, though.”

“Hey, we should, uh, focus on the trail, don’t you think?” Nic says, although the effect is ruined by the fact that he can’t stop smiling. 

Geoff is now for sure deliberately crowding him to the side of the trail. Nic laughs and digs his heels in to keep from getting pushed, but it’s only a halfhearted attempt. Not that he thinks he’d be able to beat Geoff in a match of strength anyway.

They go off trail, half wrestling, half walking, until Geoff stops them at a tree.

“There aren’t any ants on this tree, are there?” Geoff asks, examining it.

“What?” Nic says, thrown by this non sequitur. He turns to look at the tree. “No, I don’t see any.”

“Good. Depends on what you’re into, but I feel like ants chewing on your face is kind of a boner killer,” Geoff says. He rotates Nic so that Nic’s back is leaning on the tree trunk, and gets to his knees, a hand on Nic’s belt.

It feels like all the blood in Nic’s head goes straight to his dick. He looks back at the trail, which is only a few feet away. “Uh, Geoff, are you— Here? Are you sure?”

“Come on, we’ve been on that trail for like half an hour and we didn’t see anyone. And you have this tree as cover.” Geoff looks up at Nic with an expression that has Nic’s jeans becoming suddenly uncomfortable. 

“It’s up to you, though,” Geoff adds, looking suspiciously like he already knows the answer. His fingers drum against Nic’s belt buckle, making Nic twitch.

Fuck it. Nic shoots one last nervous look back at the trail before answering. “Okay, yes, yeah, I—” But Geoff is already undoing his belt, opening the front of his jeans, and Nic stops talking to watch.

Once Geoff gets his mouth around him though, Nic has to look away with a shuddering breath, the rough bark of the tree catching at his hair as he knocks his head back. Geoff isn’t even bothering trying to be quiet, or neat — the wet sucking sounds and Geoff’s hums of enjoyment seem to profane the clean forest air.

Very quickly, Nic forgets about the trail, and the danger of a random hiker coming down the trail and seeing him exposed like this. Desperately needing something to hold onto, he runs a hand tentatively across the top of Geoff’s head. When Geoff makes a sound of encouragement, Nic clenches his fingers into his hair. 

Geoff pulls off with a popping noise that Nic is sure is loud enough to be heard from the trail. Stroking him with one hand, he looks up at Nic with his lips still brushing the tip of his dick. “Fuck, you’re so good,” he says, voice rough, every word sending jolts of sensation up Nic’s spine. “I wanted you just like this. Was fuckin’ thinking about it all morning.”

Those words, and the sight of Geoff sinking his mouth onto his dick again prove to be too much this time. Nic stifles himself with the back of his hand, as Geoff swallows him down.

Afterwards, Geoff wipes his mouth, tucks Nic back in, and briefly lifts the hem of Nic’s t-shirt to press a kiss to Nic’s stomach. The tenderness in that kiss sends Nic’s thoughts scattering into fragments even more thoroughly than when Geoff was actually going down on him. 

Geoff gets back up to his feet. “You good?” he asks, cupping his hand around Nic’s face, a mirror of the gesture he made earlier this morning.

“I’m, yeah, I’m good,” Nic says, panting a little, and when that answer doesn’t feel like enough, he kisses Geoff, uncaring of the taste of himself that still lingers.

Geoff kisses him back, hands moving down to squeeze at his ass. Geoff breaks off with a small laugh. “Dude, your legs are shaking and everything. I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Nic laughs a little unsteadily. Every part of him feels like it’s made out of rubber. “Yeah, just give me a second, and then I can—”

Geoff makes a sudden noise, his attention turning to something beyond them. Nic follows his gaze, and gasps when he catches sight of a large structure hidden in the trees.

“Well, what do you know,” Geoff says. “Guess there was something out here all along. Come on, let’s go check it out.” 

“Hold on, let me start recording,” Nic says as he follows after Geoff, his legs still feeling like they have the consistency of overcooked noodle. He digs his voice recorder out of his pocket.

“Oh,” Nic says, looking at it.

“All turned on now?” Geoff asks, and then looks back at Nic, catching sight of his expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I guess I must have turned it on when we started walking and then forgot about it,” Nic says blankly.

“You forgot about it,” Geoff repeats. “So it was recording us when we—”

“I can, uh, edit that part out. And then delete it.”

“Oh my god,” Geoff says. He drags a hand through his hair, and Nic is stunned to realize that he’s blushing. 

“Or,” Nic says slowly, “do you want me to send it to you later?”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Geoff says, his ears now definitely pink. “Let’s go see what this fucking thing is, and then I’m going to take you home, and—”

Nic waves the voice recorder in his face as a reminder, its red light blinking visibly.

Geoff snorts. “Hey, Tanis listeners,” he says loudly, taking hold of Nic’s wrist and bringing the voice recorder up so that he’s talking directly into it. “Good thing we went off trail so I could give Nic a blowjob, otherwise we wouldn’t have found this weird structure in the woods.” 

Nic fumbles for the off button as Geoff laughs. “You know what, I’ll just start a new one,” Nic says. 

“Probably a good idea,” Geoff says, and continues to snicker to himself as they walk towards the structure. 

-

“Well, that’s fucking weird,” Geoff says. Nic can only nod in agreement.

There, in the middle of the forest, stands a staircase. It is about fifteen feet tall, the stairs beginning from the forest floor and leading up to nowhere. They circle around it, Nic describing what he sees aloud for the recorder. It looks to be made completely of wood, handrails and all, as if it used to belong to a house that is no longer here. The wood is old and rotting, some of the steps splintered in the middle.

“You think this is what TeslaNova was looking at? An old set of stairs?” Geoff says incredulously.

“I wonder how it got here,” Nic says. He is reminded, suddenly, of the bridge he wrote about in his journal when he was searching for Tanis. The bridge that appeared out of nowhere, looking like it had been there all along. A chill goes down his neck.

“I’ve seen something like this before,” he tells Geoff, putting his voice recorder into the front pocket of his shirt to free up his hands. 

He begins digging around the rotting leaves and dirt at the base of the stairs. After a bit of digging, his fingers brush against more rotting wood. “There’s something underneath all this, flooring of some kind,” Nic says.

“Hey, Nic, be careful, you don’t know how stable this shit is,” Geoff says, worried.

“Yeah, I’m being careful,” Nic reassures him. 

The stairs are old. He kneels down to examine the wood of the stairs, and finds that he can still see segments of the wood where there’s peeling paint, what used to be a clean white, he thinks, before exposure to the elements turned it a grayish brown.

Motivated by curiosity more than anything, he shreds off a piece of one of the stairs. It comes away like wet paper. Nic lifts it to his mouth and sniffs it.

“Nic, what the fuck are you doing?” Geoff asks mildly.

“I wonder if.” Nic takes a tentative bite of it, and chews thoughtfully. He looks up at Geoff, who is watching him with an appalled expression. “Huh,” Nic says.

“Nic. You just. Ate a piece of wood,” Geoff says, with a look of mixed horror and fascination.

“It doesn’t  _ taste  _ like wood though. These stairs are way too old to be so intact. This doesn’t make sense,” Nic says.

“Yeah, no shit it doesn’t make sense,” Geoff says dryly.

Nic moves to the other side of the stairs. “Let me just see if—” Then, with a sickening lurch, he feels the ground shift under him. There is the sound of damp tearing wood, and whatever he’s standing on decides to give way. The forest floor swallows him up.

He hits the ground on his back, the wind knocked out of him. There is splintered wood beneath him, so riddled with mold and mildew that it’s practically spongy, which is probably what saves him from any serious injury.

“Holy shit!” Geoff shouts, and after a few seconds, Nic sees his head at the mouth of the opening that he’s fallen into. “Nic! Are you okay?”

Nic coughs, gingerly sitting upright. “Yeah,” he answers weakly. “A couple scrapes, but nothing’s broken.”

Geoff swears down at him.

“Yeah,” Nic agrees.

“Alright, stand up, let’s see if I can reach you,” Geoff says, holding out his arm. There is an awful groaning sound as he leans forward.

Nic shakes his head. “No way, it’s too high, and you might fall in too.”

“Fuck. Okay, hold on, let me see if there’s anything around here I can use to get you out,” Geoff says, and disappears.

Nic looks around, blinking away the dust that is still clouding the air. He seems to have fallen into a room. It’s difficult to make out how large it is, since the only illumination is the bright circle of light falling from the opening in the ceiling. Nic squints into the darkness, and is able to make out part of an old shelf.

Above him, there is the sound of splintering wood and Geoff cursing.

“I think this used to be an old cellar,” Nic calls up.

“That’s great,” Geoff says distractedly, poking his head over the opening of the pit again. “Listen, Nic, none of the wood here is strong enough for you to use to climb out. I’m going to walk back for help. There’s no fucking cell service here.”

“Okay,” Nic says, his gut twisting with guilt at how frustrated Geoff sounds. “I’m really sorry about all this.”

Geoff sighs. “Forget about that, okay? I’ll be right back. I promise,” he says firmly, like he needs Nic to believe it.

And Nic does. Out of the entire mess of this mystery, if he trusts anything, he trusts Geoff. “I know,” Nic tells him.

“Use this if you get cold,” Geoff says, and throws down his jacket. Nic catches it. Only then does he realize how chilly it is down here, even though it’s a relatively warm day.

“Thanks,” Nic says. Geoff nods, and then he’s gone. Nic listens to the sound of his disappearing footsteps, and then gets carefully to his feet. He puts on Geoff’s jacket, and has to roll up the cuffs of the sleeves, which are too big for him.

Left with nothing else to do, Nic decides he might as well explore the room he’s now trapped in. He unclips the small flashlight he keeps on his keychain and points it into the darkness.

It’s definitely an old cellar. There’s pieces of broken glass, some rusted tin cans, and more shelves, most of them fallen over and crumbling. He nudges at a half-broken bottle, trying to see if he can find a label, but everything is too faded.

“People used to live here,” he says out loud, for the recording. It feels odd to be speaking, here beneath the earth. He wonders how long it’s been since anyone set foot here. 

“What was TeslaNova searching for out here?” he continues. “And what kind of building falls apart to leave the stairs and nothing else?”

Nic sighs and turns off his recorder, worried about how much battery it still has left. It’s clear that, for now, he has more questions than he does answers. It’s a feeling he’s definitely getting used to.

He walks around the perimeter of the cellar, but to his disappointment, doesn’t find anything else of interest. There is a trapdoor on one end, with a decrepit ladder leaned up next to it, but Nic doubts it would hold his weight long enough to get up there. Even if the trapdoor wasn’t rusted shut, opening it would probably bring down even more of the ceiling.

Feeling cold, Nic goes back to the circle of sunlight and sits on top of the pile of broken wood to wait. Time passes — fifteen minutes, then half an hour go by. Nic occupies himself by watching the circle of light on the floor slowly shrink as the sun moves across the sky.

The first couple times Nic hears it, he thinks he’s imagined it, chalks it up to the wind moving through the cellar, or the groaning of wood. But then it gets louder and clearer, the unmistakable sound of something physically moving in the cellar.

Nic stands up, and shines his light into the darkness, hoping he’ll see a rat or squirrel, maybe a bird that flew in when he wasn’t paying attention, even though he knows that whatever he heard making that sound was too large, too _slow_ , to be a bird or a squirrel.

“Hello?” Nic says. A part of him hopes desperately that nothing will answer back, and the other part of him wants to turn his voice recorder back on just in case something does.

As he passes his flashlight over a part of the far wall, he catches a glimpse of something dark and gleaming and  _ wet  _ moving across the wall. He snaps the light back to that same spot, but it’s gone. He searches the surrounding area, but whatever he saw — if he saw anything at all — doesn’t reveal itself again.

After a while, unwilling to move out of the circle of light, Nic sits again. He can still hear it occasionally, moving near that same far wall, but whenever he shines his flashlight over there, he can’t make anything out. He makes himself sit facing that part of the wall, staying alert for any movement.

Another twenty minutes pass. The circle of light grows smaller, until Nic has to tuck his legs in so that he can stay completely within it. It begins to rain a little, water dripping on him from through the opening, but he doesn’t move away from it, just burrows deeper into Geoff’s jacket and continues to watch the wall. He feels strangely calm.

-

By the time he hears approaching footsteps and Geoff calling his name, the edge of the light has shifted to nearly the tips of his toes.

“Nic, you okay down there?” Geoff calls.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Nic answers quickly, pleased by how steady he sounds.

“Thank fuck,” Geoff says, nearly hoarse with relief. “I brought some guys with me, they’re going to pull you out, okay? Just hang tight.”

“Okay,” Nic says, eager to be out of the cellar. He looks back towards the wall, but he is still unable to see anything. Whatever noises he heard earlier have stopped now as well.

The process of extracting him out of the cellar is a very careful and tedious one, since the rescue officers have to be careful not to bring any more of the unstable wood to fall in. They finally get Nic hooked up to a harness, and then lift him up slowly. 

As soon as he’s out, and far away enough from the structure to not be in danger of falling in again, Geoff sweeps him into a hug that very nearly brings Nic up off his feet. “Hey,” Geoff says softly. “You’re okay. You’re safe.” He puts a hand to the back of Nic’s head and for a moment, Nic just closes his eyes and lets himself breathe.

They both have to step apart to go talk to the rescue officers, who lecture them harshly on the dangers of going off trail and going to investigate strange unsafe structures that they find in the middle of the woods. Nic tries to ask them if they know how the staircase ended up in the woods, but they don’t give him any kind of straightforward answer.

When they’re done, the sun is close to setting. The officers take both of them back to Geoff’s car in their van, and then follow them back onto the highway.

“It’s like they don’t trust us at all,” Nic jokes, but Geoff just makes a noncommittal noise in response.

The ride back is quiet. Geoff is unwilling to be pulled into a conversation, and after a few failed attempts, Nic falls silent, wondering if Geoff is angry, and unsure of how to ask.

He’s surprised when Geoff suggests that they go back to his place, instead of taking Nic back to his apartment.

“It’s closer,” Geoff explains, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Sure,” Nic says. “I can ask Alex to look after Chelsea tonight.”

By the time Nic gets off the phone with Alex, who is  _ extremely smug _ when he explains why he needs her to look after his dog, they’ve arrived at Geoff’s place.

“Uh, thanks, Geoff,” Nic says, as they step inside.

“You can use the shower,” Geoff says instead. He won’t meet Nic’s eyes. “I’ll bring you some clean clothes.”

-

To his surprise, Geoff is waiting for him outside the bathroom when Nic steps out, hair still wet, and dressed in a shirt and sweatpants that are too large on him.

“I ran out and got you some neosporin,” Geoff tells him, handing him a small tube of ointment. “You should put some on your scrapes.” He opens his mouth to say something else, and hesitates.

Nic takes the tube, and waits.

“I should have gotten there sooner today, Nic. I’m sorry,” Geoff says finally, sounding miserable. 

Nic shakes his head. “You brought help, though. You came back. It was a bad situation, but I’m okay.”

Geoff finally meets his eyes. “You sure? You sure you’re okay?”

He hasn’t told Geoff about what he thinks he heard or saw down in the cellar. The more he thinks about it, the more he believes it was just his mind playing tricks on him, even if he still remembers hearing the slippery sound it made. 

Nic nods. “I promise,” he says, and is rewarded by a kiss to his forehead, Geoff’s arms around his shoulders.

“I still feel kinda shitty about leaving you down there,” Geoff says, his lips moving across Nic’s hairline. “Anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Yeah,” Nic says, laughing. “I think there are a couple things I can think of.”

Geoff helps Nic undress, careful of his scrapes, and ducks his head to press a kiss to Nic’s collarbone before straightening up and taking off his own shirt. Nic can’t help but inhale sharply at the sight, and Geoff grins in response. In one smooth movement, he lifts Nic up, and pins him securely against the wall with his body.

“Oh, fuck,” Nic says, his voice already sounding broken.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like that,” Geoff says, with no small amount of smugness. He kisses Nic, and bites at his neck until Nic’s dick is twitching against his stomach between them, and Nic has to dig blunt nails into Geoff’s back to keep from begging.

Geoff seems to get the hint though, because he moves them towards the bed, setting Nic gently down on the mattress. 

“God, you look so good,” Geoff says, unbuckling his belt and taking off his pants. He joins Nic, settling over him on the bed. Geoff continues to kiss him, one hand moving between them to stroke Nic. He kisses his collarbone again, his other hand playing with one of Nic’s nipples, mouths over the shuddering skin of Nic’s belly.

“I need—” Nic breaks off with a gasp when Geoff’s hand tightens around his dick at the sound of his shattered voice. “God, can you just fuck me? Please.”

Geoff laughs a little, although Nic is gratified to hear how ragged it sounds. He gets out a bottle of lube, brand new, and Nic wonders with a dizzying rush to the head if he had ran out to buy it just now, along with the neosporin.

“First things first,” Geoff says seriously, his fingers already dripping with lube. A cold drop of it falls near Nic’s dick, and Nic hisses. 

“What?” Nic says, a little sharply, unable to think clearly through the haze of want.

“You’re not recording this, are you?” Geoff asks.

There is a beat of surprised disbelief, and then Nic collapses backwards onto the mattress, laughing. “No,” he manages finally, driven almost to the point of hiccups. “I’m not recording this, now will you please just—”

“Hey, I had to ask, buddy,” Geoff says, grinning, and then his fingers are opening Nic up, and heat is spiking through Nic like splinters of wood.

-

Afterwards, they lay on their sides, Nic curled up against him. Geoff’s fingers pet through his hair.

“You feel like having pizza?” Geoff asks, voice a little slurred. “I can order us pizza. And then we can put that ointment on you.”

Nic manages to make a wordless noise of agreement. Geoff petting his hair is even better than Geoff rubbing circles into his shoulder, he decides.

Neither of them move.

After a while, Nic turns around to face Geoff, studying him for a moment. He knows what he wants to ask, he just isn’t sure how to ask it.

Geoff snorts. “I know that look. That’s your interview look. Okay, what is it?”

“Are you — happy?” Nic asks.

Geoff’s eyebrows shoot up. Whatever he was expecting Nic to ask, it wasn’t this. “Well that’s kind of a broad question, don’t you think?” he says lightly.

“I mean,” Nic takes a breath, and tries again. “You left the military, you had to come back to civilian life, and then you lost your brother. It couldn’t have been easy. I guess I just want to know if things are okay now. If you’re happy.”

There is a familiar expression in Geoff’s eyes, one that Nic is now used to seeing when Nic brings up Karl. It is still as unreadable as the first time Nic saw it, during their first interview for the podcast.

“Nic,” Geoff sighs, bringing up his hand again to continue petting through Nic’s hair. “Yeah, I’m happy. Or I’m happier now, I guess. After losing Karl.”

“Okay,” Nic says, and shifts closer into Geoff’s chest.

Geoff laughs, small and quiet, and a little sad. “Okay,” he says.

**Author's Note:**

> Stairs in the woods was inspired by [this /r/nosleep story](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3iex1h/im_a_search_and_rescue_officer_for_the_us_forest/).


End file.
